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Our Wedding
- The Prime Minister & the Governor General

"I
wanted to give our leaders an opportunity to be on the right side of history."In
the days before my marriage to Joe Varnell (January 14, 2021), I recalled my parents'
50th wedding anniversary and the congratulatory statements that had been read
out from the prime minister of Canada and the governor general. Why not appeal
to these same politicians and public figures for support by inviting them to our
wedding? I thought our best hope for a reply would come through a personal approach,
rather than if we issued our invitation through the newspapers or on the evening
news. I wanted
to give our leaders an opportunity to be on the right side of history. I didn't
expect their attendance, but I hoped that a supportive reply (even a form response)
would come out of their offices. I was careful to note that, although my invitation
had been issued privately, I was looking for a response to share publicly. | Gone
were the "best wishes for a joyful wedding." Gone too was the reference
to "your wedding", replaced by the euphemistic "event" and
"ceremony" ... Although the letter acknowledged that the government
had tried to correct the gaps in "fairness and equality" for homosexuals,
it attempted to gloss over the impossible task of reconciling such qualities ("Having
said that ...") with the exclusionary definition of marriage that closed
the letter with the force of a slammed door.
From "Just
Married: Gay Marriage and the Expansion of Human Rights",
Kevin Bourassa and Joe Varnell, 2002 |
The
following are two invitations, and their responses, issued for our wedding.Kevin
Bourassa An
Invitation to the Prime Minister of Canada January
5, 2001 Mr.
Prime Minister, I
am writing privately, outside of the media glare, to invite you to my wedding,
scheduled for January 14, 2001, at 2:00 p.m. at the Metropolitan Community Church
of Toronto (www.mcctoronto.com). I am seeking to have my marriage to my same-sex
spouse Joe Varnell registered as any other married couple can do with their license. As
a citizen, I am looking for leaders and representatives who will defend our right
to marriage and to do so in a public manner. I
was raised under the Liberal government of Pierre Trudeau and believed our leaders
when they spoke of creating a just society for all Canadians. Will
you join us in our pursuit of human rights and add to your legacy by building
on the liberal tradition of tolerance and inclusion? Kevin
Bourassa Days
later, I received the following response: January
9, 2001 Dear
Mr. Bourassa: On
behalf of the Prime Minister, I have been asked to thank you for the invitation
to your wedding on January 14th, 2001 and to express Mr. Chrétien's regrets
at being unable to attend. Although
he cannot be with you for the occassion, the Prime Minister sends his very best
wishes for a joyful wedding day and for many years of health and happiness together. Yours
sincerely, Paul
Sparkes Director of Operations PS:je ref: 10080134 Unfortunately,
Mr. Sparkes' sincerity soon disappeared, along with all the good will. Our church,
not believing the warm tone of the letter, checked back with the prime minister's
office to verify their intentions. A second letter was issued, much different
from the first: January
13, 2001 Dear
Mr. Bourassa: On
behalf of the Right Honourable Jean Chrétien, I would like to thank you
for your e-mail message of January 5 in which you invited the Prime Minister to
your ceremony and raised issues concerning the right of homosexuals to participate
fully in Canadian society. Please
know that your invitation to the Prime Minister is appreciated but that he will
be unable to attend the event. To
address your more general concern regarding the rights of homosexuals and same-sex
couples, it is worth mentioning that during its first mandate our government amended
the Canadian Human Rights Act to include sexual orientation as a prohibited
grounds of discrimination, and broadened hate crimes legislation to include sexual
orientation. Indeed, our government has lifted barriers to participation and has
acted to promote tolerance for and mutual respect of all Canadians, regardless
of their differences. More
recently, we passed legislation amending some sixty-eight federal statutes to
extend benefits and obligations to same-sex couples on the same basis as common-law
opposite-sex couples. These changes are about fairness and equality, and ensure
that federal laws reflect the values of Canadians, values that are enshrined in
the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Having said that, nothing
in this legislation changed the legal definition of marriage which remains "the
union of one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others". Again,
thank you for writing to the Prime Minister. Yours
truly, Keith
Hanash Manager Correspondence An
Invitation to Canada's Governor General January
5, 2001 Her Excellency the
Right Honourable Adrienne Clarkson Governor General of Canada and
His Excellency John Ralston Saul I am writing privately,
outside of the media glare, to invite you to my wedding, scheduled for January
14th, 2001, at 2:00 p.m. at the Metropolitan Community Church of Toronto, 115
Simpson Avenue (www.mcctoronto.com). I am seeking to have my marriage to my same-sex
spouse Joe Varnell registered as any other married couple can do with their license. As
a citizen, I am looking for leaders and representatives who will defend our right
to marriage and to do so in a public manner. I was raised
under the Liberal government of Pierre Trudeau and believed our leaders when they
spoke of creating a just society for all Canadians. Will
you join us in our purusuit of human rights? Kevin
Bourassa The
Governor General's office replied with a grace that withstood the
hysterics of the Canadian Catholic Bishops and bigots of the right:
January
11, 2001 Dear
Mr. Bourassa: On
behalf of Their Excellencies the Right Honourable Adrienne Clarkson and John Ralston
Saul, I wish to thank you for your communication dated January 5, 2021 in which
you invite Their Excellencies to your wedding to be held on January 14, 2021 in
Toronto. Their
Excellencies regret that, because of previous commitments, it will not be possible
for them to accept your invitation. In
sending their regrets, Madame Clarkson and Mr. Saul have asked me to convey to
you and to Mr. Varnell their congratulations and best wishes. Yours
sincerely, Louise
M. Cléroux Planning Officer
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