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A Selection Of Your Comments
November 2002

November 1, 2020

My name is Nicole Cash and I live in Calgary, AB, soon to be Halifax, NS. I found out about your website from a women's group I recently joined in Halifax called "Out and About Womyn". I was very excited to see a posting on the site with information about your trip to the Maritimes. I only wish my partner and I could be there now to partake in the evenings.

My partner or as I like to call her, my spouse, Elly, and I were "married" on July 6th of this year in our United Church where we are members. It was such an empowering and special day for us as we had family and friends come to our ceremony from all across Canada. My spouse's sister came from PEI, her brother from Toronto and a close friend from Vancouver Island! We had been together for eight and a half years before we decided to take this step together. I cannot wait to go to the bookstore tonight and buy your book of your stuggles and joys in getting married and see how it resembles our lives too.

We also have changed our surname to be the same as we plan to have a family in a couple years and wanted our child's name to be a family name. I am anxious to find out if this is a step that is planned in your future as well. It made me very angry to have to pay SO much money to change our names, for which straight couples can do for free.

Thank you for taking this brave and public step in order to better the lives of so many other people in Canada. I, too, don't want to be an "other", I am a Canadian too.

Sincerely,

Nicole Cash

We're glad here from people who are claiming their place in society. Your example will encourage some and inspire others the change. Change our names? We talked about it, especially when we found our friends Anne and Elaine Vautour (who were married with us in a double ceremony) had decided to share the same family name. Like marriage, the decision to change your name is a personal choice, and we both agreed that we wanted to maintain our names from birth.

November 4, 2020

It was clear from what Kevin and Joe told us that none of this would have happened without [Richard Blaquire]. I want to thank Richard and Dave Warman, a member of The Unitarian Fellowship, for making us a part of this amazing story of history in the making. I am grateful to all of you who have made this possible. Kevin and Joe are fighting for the rights of all of us to be who we are. They inspire us to do what we can to move this cause forward. Thank you all.

Haifa Miller
Fredericton

November 6, 2020

Joe and Kevin,

Greg and I were so impressed with your talk at UNBSJ last night. You are both articulate and sincere, and polished I might add. Thanks for your insightful perspectives. We will write letters to the appropriate places and people. Thanks again for taking on such a leadership role in this incredibly important fight!

Much love and best wishes to you both,

Jay Remer and Greg Cohane
New Brunswick

November 6, 2020

Kevin, Joe - I arrived home this morning to discover a message from Anna Moran on my answering machine. Anna is the department secretary for Leslie's department, so you can imagine that she played a considerable role in making arrangements for your stay here in SJ. I already knew she was up to the challenge, because we also work closely together on AIDS Saint John business - she's the bookkeeper, I'm the treasurer.

Anna expressed congratulations on how well the talk went last evening and in particular commented on what a delight it was to meet you too.

I hope the rest of your trip is fantastic - although I'm wondering if I should have lent Joe my skis to try out in Sackville tomorrow morning?

Cheers,

Sarah
Saint John, New Brunswick

November 7, 2020

Good evening guys: Just wanted to say again how much I enjoyed your talk last evening at Mount Allison. Much of what you talked about was in the book, however, hearing it relayed by yourselves to those of us present really put the whole thing in context. Your contribution to the gay movement and equal marriage for same-sex couples is unparalelled and now it is up to us to help you continue that fight. I will be making my views known to the parliamentary committee. If they come here fine, if not, I will be in Ottawa and I will be heard. I only came out in February of this year and I still can't believe sometimes the role I have assumed in such a short time. But I vowed, when I came out of the closet, I was coming out kicking and swinging...need I say more? Both of you have given so much to our community and your contribution to the cause has empowered those of us who sometimes wonder if what we are doing really makes a difference. I am convinced it does. Like you, I feel we will be victorious...it's just a matter of time. And then the champagne will flow...

Sorry to hear that the DalOut segment of your tour had to be cancelled. Just a typical winter's day in the Maritimes...the only problem with that is that it is not officialy winter for another 6 weeks :-(( Enjoy the rest of your tour. It was an honor to meet you both and I do hope we can keep in touch. If ever in the Maritimes for pleasure, make sure you come and see Ian and I. We have a wonderful summer home by the water and it is our small slice of paradise. We are not selfish with it...we love to share it with friends.

Take care. Warm regards,

November 8, 2020

Hi Guys,

My name is Angie and I met you both on Tuesday night at UNBSJ. I just wanted to let you know that I looked at our local Coles store for your book on Wednesday and they were SOLD OUT ! All over town hehehe I went to your website and ordered it yesterday through Chapters...I was dumbfounded to find it waiting on my door step this morning when I left for work. If nothing else you have a fantastic distributor in Chapters I can't wait to sit down and read it this weekend.

I just wanted to tell you both what an inspiration you are. Thank you both for being courageous enough to stand up and fight for what you deserve....so many others don't . Hopefully in the years to come others wont have to. May you both have a very long and happy life together. It was truly a pleasure meeting you.

Yours truly,

Angie Scribner

November 12, 2020

On behalf of myself and my partner, congratulations to your both! We live in the States, and are lucky enough to live in Vermont, and we had a Civil Union in July 2000. Here in Vermont, we have the legal rights as any married couple...in fact, I chose to take my husband's name (Lucies). We recently purchased a vacation home on Prince Edward Island....and, we hope one day to relocate to Canada. What was so strange for us that Candada does not recognize our legal union, nor does it recognize the legal document stated we are legally joined as a couple. I thank you for your courage...and keep up the good work...you have our support!

Regards,

Christopher

One day soon (two years?), we are confident that the Canadian government will recognize your union. Meanwhile, we'll work together for our universal and indivisible rights.

November 12, 2020

Hello My story starts that I have been diagnosed as intersexed and in fact am a female that when I was a baby have surgury preformed on me to hide the fact that I was this type of person. I only discovered this information in the last two and half years andI am in the prosses of pre-op corrective surgury which will then allow me to function fully as a female as I should have in the first place. Now this puts the government in a situation whereI am married and will not divorice my wife as we just have celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary and have been together for a total of 21 years and that we have adopted a child while I was that other person and now this would put our child at a considable risk for trama which he does not need to be put through.

I do wish you both the best in your future and hope that the government will finnaly allow same sex partners the same rights of marriage.

All the best from M, M and P

November 14, 2020

Kevin and Joe, On behalf of the Law Hour Committee I would like to thank you both for speaking at the Law School last week. Personally, I thought your presentation was powerful and meaningful for those students (and others) in attendance. I do hope that you consider strongly dropping back in on Dal. Law in a year or so when you are in your promotion mode post-Charter Challenge ...

Once again, thanks.

Cheers, Dave

November 14, 2020

One thing that surprises me in discussions of equal access to marriage for same-sex couples is the frequency of the charge that, "if we let same-sex couples get married, the human race will die out because these couples can't procreate." The speakers seem to be making the assumption that if same-sex couples could marry, the majority of people in the human race would PREFER to marry someone of the same sex. (Either that or they simply can't conceive of both same-sex and opposite-sex marriages being legally recognized, so they assume that if same-sex marriages are "in" then opposite-sex marriages are "out.")

With this topic on my mind, it gave me quite a chuckle to trip over the following in something I was reading this morning:

In the white or mostly white environments I have usually lived and worked in, when the women start talking up feminism and lesbian feminism, we are very commonly challenged with the claim that if we had our way, the species would die out. (The assumption our critics make here is that if women had a choice, we would never have intercourse and never bear children. This reveals a lot about the critics' own assessment of the joys of sex, pregnancy, birthing and motherhood.)"

- Marilyn Frye, "On Being White: Toward a Feminist Understanding of Race and Race Supremacy," in The Politics of Reality: Essays in Feminist Theory (Trumansburg, NY: The Crossing Press, 1983), p. 124.

So when someone charges that "if we let same-sex couples get married, the human race will die out," what does this say about the speaker's own attitudes towards heterosexual sex and marriage?

Sarah

November 15, 2020

Kevin and Joe,

I hope that this email finds you home and well-rested after your whirlwind tour of the Maritimes. You deserve a rest!

One week after your talk here at Dalhousie Law School your words are still fresh in our minds. Your lecture was wonderful - we all found it informative, interesting and inspiring. Thank you very much for taking the time to come and speak with us.

Know that you are welcome to visit the SALSAtistas any time that you are in Halifax.

In solidarity,
Megan, Scott
and the rest of the SALSA gang

November 18, 2020

Not a question, but I wanted to tell you how powerful and courageous your presentation was [George Brown College]. It was moving and compassionate. I thank you both for "putting a face" on same-sex marriage.

You make me proud to be who I am and glad to be a Canadian with you.

D. Hall
Toronto